June Newsletter

Hello everyone

As usual a very big and hearty welcome to all our new and existing clients. We are really enjoying having you all on board and are happy to be able to help you be your true selves in a safe, accepting and discreet environment.

Wow, can you believe we are already in June? So much has happened this year already and we are only half way in. We look forward to working with everyone in the last half of 2017 and hope to make all your dreams come true.

We had a wonderful trip to Priscilla Queen of the Desert at the end of May. Unfortunately, we had a number of cancellations and it was a small but merry (and brave) group of us who ventured into Monte Casino on a chilly Johannesburg evening. Despite a rather empty theatre (it was a midweek evening so I suppose it was understandable) we all enjoyed the show. The wit and humour was fantastic and the production quality very good. The accents coach could have done better, but that is perhaps quibbling too much.

The Priscilla’s team were a little late arriving at Monte Casino due to some last minute and unforeseen circumstances, so we abandoned the idea of getting a pre-show cocktail at a cocktail lounge, but settled for drinks at the theatre bar. We then went in and enjoyed the show.

At the interval, we braved the queues at the ladies’ room and then went to get some more liquid refreshment at the bar. Here I met a very interested couple, the male half of whom was very interested in us. We did our best to educate him and I sincerely hope that he reaches out to us again.

After the show, we went for coffee at the Seattle Coffee shop and nattered away until very late… We then went our separate ways. As always, we were perfectly safe and happy and had no issues with security, employees or members of the public. We even (coincidentally) met some friends (the Trouble crew) who had independently decided to come out and see the show that night. What a fun night out.

The big news is that we have already made plans for a Friday night social in July. Thanks to one of our clients, we made contact with a nearby (like very nearby) vintage clothing retailer, called The OPC.

The OPC is a fantastic little shop owned by someone who is very accepting of transgender people. She is very eager to help and we thought we could also help her.

We have therefore planned a cheese and wine party at her shop on the Friday evening, 14 July 2017. You will be free to dress at Priscilla’s and then we can take you to the shop, or you can of course arrive en femme (or indeed en homme) at the shop. At the shop, you will be treated to some food and drinks, have an opportunity to browse the shop and of course try on all the clothes you would like. All in perfect safety. Your privacy will be guaranteed as Lesley will close the windows of the shop with some drapes to keep any curious eyes away. She will also ensure our cars are kept safe by employing a security guard for the evening…

So, throw on your winter frock and come joins us for an evening of socialising and fashionista fun in Emmarentia! It would be appreciated if you could give us some idea of numbers for catering purposes asap. We are of course always happy to accommodate out of towners at the studio.

In the meantime, due to popular demand, please note that we have had to reduce the number of times you can use the Studio as part of your package, from three uses a month, to two. Those of you who have already signed up will retain your three uses per month provided your membership does not expire. To all of you who have not yet joined, please sign up asap to lock in this amazing value. We did not reduce the number of complimentary uses lightly but to ensure that we are able to continue to meet demand for the venue we have had to (reluctantly) take this step.

Those of you still wondering whether it is worth trying out our services should take a look at our testimonials page and our Facebook page. We clearly have some satisfied and happy clients out there and are eager to do the same for you. In addition to the testimonials on our website and the reviews and ratings on our Facebook page, we have some examples of Irene’s work on both these platforms. Please note that the photographs taken by us have not been photoshopped or had filters applied. We only ever crop and/or compress our photographs, so the makeup work you see is the real deal. We do not try and make our work look better than it really is (please note we cannot vouch for photographs supplied by our clients, but the vast majority of photos on display were taken by us). This gives you absolute confidence that you will get what you pay for. Not nasty surprises.

On that note, we have made it easier for you to pay us. We can still accept cash payments and EFTs, but we have now installed a credit card facility at the studio and we can also take credit card payments and direct Paypal transfers via Paypal should any of these options be easier for you. We have installed a ‘pay with Paypal’ button on the web site (it is on the right-hand side of all the pages). As always, we guarantee your confidentiality as far as it is possible for us to do so (banks will of course ‘see’ any transactions). Paypal is a secure and safe system and we have full confidence in it.

On that note. Please note that we do not disclose e-mail addresses or any other contact information to anyone without the express permission of the person involved. We have had one or two people contact us requesting to meet and/or contact our clients for ‘social’ reasons. We always decline these requests. One such request led to a rather nasty Whatsapp exchange. Please be assured we put the interests of our friends and clients first and will not disclose any information (even publicly available information) without your permission. I trust that those of you reading this will understand the need for privacy.

Irene and I are looking forward to seeing you all at The OPC in July, if not sooner and please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any queries, thoughts, insights or ideas. We are always willing to listen and help.

Regards

The Priscilla’s Team

 

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Crossdressing and the Quest for Privacy

Many crossdressers have a lot to lose. Many of us have a marriage, children, careers and a standing in the community that we want to protect. We are very concerned (given society’s general lack of knowledge and understanding about crossdressing and transgender issues) that if we are discovered, we stand to lose some or all of these things. Often we fear losing our families and careers most and are concerned that if our spouses or bosses discover that we are crossdressers we will almost certainly lose these things that we value the most.

For this reason we keep things as private as possible. Sometimes this means we end up keeping secrets from those that we love the most. Sometimes we may end up lying to those people. This can be a very difficult experience and one that adds pressure, strain and stress to our already hard lives.

I am of the opinion that it is better to be honest with people. However I also appreciate that when it comes to something like crossdressing it is very hard to predict how people will react, especially when it relates to a spouse or other close family member (I have heard of otherwise very open and liberal people freaking out when discovering this about their spouse and I have also heard of very conservative and otherwise ‘straight’ people being very accepting). Additionally it is true that once you have ‘rung the bell’ you absolutely cannot ‘un-ring’ it. Once you tell someone you have reached the point of no return. Either they will accept you or they will not. If they do not, they will almost certainly look at you in a different light… This can place intolerable strain on us and our relationships.

For this reason discretion is an absolute necessity. You need to have a very good idea of how your revelation will be received and you need to be comfortable with the consequences of that revelation, whatever they may be. If you are not prepared to accept the worst case scenario, it is probably better to keep quiet. This in turn leads to a serious problem. How do you live your life as you want and need to live it, without causing distress. Additionally how do you live a life of integrity and how do you avoid deception?

If you cannot afford to get caught crossdressing, do not get caught. Make sure you only dress in a safe and secure environment. Always make sure that you pack away all evidence and crucially make sure that all traces are removed. If a spouse finds lingerie, traces of makeup and stray hairs she will certainly think you are having an affair before she thinks you are crossdressing. This will just make life worse.

You therefore need to make sure that all your clothes are stored in a safe and secure place. I would suggest off site storage is best. I know a number of people store their clothes in their offices. This is an idea but remember your office is not yours, it belongs to your employer, so there can be very little expectation of privacy. An employer is entitled to enter a cupboard looking for documents, files etc and in so doing they may discover your stash. It is not unreasonable for them to ask questions. This could result in difficulties at work. Given that a salary is your greatest asset as it enables you to meet all your other goals (financial and otherwise) you really do not want to lose your job. I would therefore advise against storing clothes at work. A better off site solution is a self storage unit of some sorts. However these are often expensive as you end up paying for far more space than you need.

You will then need a place to dress. More often than not the opening and closing times of self storage units may not suit you, especially if you are dressing at night and you then need to find somewhere to store your clothes for a few hours before and after you dress. This complicates your life. You will also need a place to dress and undress and wash. Even if you can dress in your storage unit, finding somewhere to wash will be difficult. Entering and exiting the unit may also be difficult as the staff may not be as tolerant as we would like. You may be able to use your home but you will then be constrained by the movements of the rest of your family and you run the risk of being discovered due to someone returning unexpectedly or you may leave something incriminating out. A better solution is to find a hotel or similar establishment where you can dress, wash etc. But obviously this will add costs and can be tricky as you will need to pay by credit card, register your name etc. And again if your spouse does discover a receipt or credit card bill with a local hotel listed her assumption is not going to be the truth. She will believe you are cheating on her.

I have also heard of people dressing in their cars, driving around late at night, taking risks and not being safe. Not only are you risking your life and safety but you are also risking exposure by doing this. Sadly violent crime, hijacking and other concerns are a very real part of life in South Africa and transgender people are statistically at a greater risk of being victims of these crimes. Not only are you risking harm, you are also risking discovery. I would caution against this approach. It is just not worth becoming a statistic and having your wife find you in the emergency room wearing your stilettos and leather mini skirt!

This is why we have established Priscilla’s Services. We believe our establishment offers you the ability to live your life as you need to, without risking all those things you hold dear. Our core service offering includes storage for your clothes and a safe and well appointed place to dress and wash. All at very reasonable prices. For those of you who cannot risk telling those that you love, please be safe, please keep your privacy and trust us to be discreet. Our facilities have been developed with you in mind. We are here to help.