Autumn Nights

Well Sweetpeas, summer has come, and gone… Like a lover in the night, it has abandoned us to the sweet mercies of the cold hard truth of ever colder (and darker) mornings. We managed to get one last fling in before the seasons turned and Priscilla’s organised one of our midweek outings on 28 March.

We decided to impose ourselves on the good people at Trouble Bar. We have been somewhat remiss and have not been to the ‘new’ Trouble venue since they moved there almost two years ago. This was simply due to us being busy doing other things. As always, we were treated fantastically by Hilton and his staff were all professional and courteous in the extreme.

The evening started early for us. I raced home from a lunch time business meeting and started getting myself presentable. Irene was already hard at work as she had two makeovers to do. I did my usual beauty routine and chose an outfit and got myself ready. In the meantime, our friend Suzie arrived from work to get ready.

We were particularly pleased to have a visitor from Spain stay with us. She was in Johannesburg on business and had decided to extend her stay to include a little ‘personal’ time. She had visited us nearly two years ago and it was fantastic to renew the acquaintance.

Having completed everyone’s makeup Irene came in and started to get ready herself… She very kindly found a few spare minutes to ‘touch up’ my makeup and fix my most glaring errors. While she was getting ready Susanna, Suzie and I sat and chatted over a drink. Unfortunately, Liza could not join us as she was not yet ready and she needed to pick up a friend on the way to Trouble…

Then as always, a problem arose (come on, you know it wouldn’t be an undercover tgirl outing without some or other near disaster befalling us) … My reprobate dog sneaks out of the property any opportunity he has and goes and visits our elderly neighbour where he is thoroughly spoiled. Getting treats, being allowed to sleep with her in her bed etc. He had snuck out and been with her sometime. She phoned to ask us if we wanted him back. Erm… What to do? I was in full en femme mode and whilst I don’t mind what she thinks of me, I also do not want to give her a heart attack! Fortunately, Irene was by now ready and she performed operation dog rescue on my behalf!

There was time for a few quick photos and then we headed on to Trouble.

Nicci and Michelle were already at Trouble when we arrived. It was wonderful to see Hilton again after such a long time and it was nice to catch up with Nicci and Michelle too. Soon we were joined by Jenny as well. I was starting to get a little worried about Liza as I thought she should have arrived not long after us. She arrived a little while later, slightly flustered. She had been pulled over by the police on the way to us after picking up Stef… This is always a stressful occurrence. If your drivers’ licence does not match your presentation it leads to awkward questions and you can never be sure that the police won’t get ‘difficult’. I have personally never had a problem with the police (I have been pulled over twice) but I have heard of people who have been harassed by some police officers. Fortunately, Liza was ok and the police were not too problematic.
A lovely evening ensued and the food and drink flowed freely. I was impressed with my food. It was reasonably priced (I had one of the ‘specials’) and plentiful. It was also rather tasty! The pink drink I had was divine… I LOVE pink drinks.
Just as we had finished eating, Carla and Petrus arrived. It was Carla’s birthday that day and I was surprised but very happy to see her as I had not seen her for some time. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARLA! Many selfies and photos were taken. Old acquaintances were renewed and some new connections forged. Everyone seemed to have a good time and we all enjoyed ourselves.

 

Then, a funny thing happened. I needed the toilet and managed to walk into the men’s facility by mistake! Fortunately, I was the only person using it at the time. This has been something of a recurring problem for me of late… A few weeks ago, I was at Rosebank Mall in male mode and I walked into the women’s toilets by mistake… Then at a school function a few days later (again in male mode) I NEARLY walked in to the women’s toilets… Clearly, I need to pay more attention to the way I am dressed and DOUBLE check signage before entering these facilities.
A big thank you to everyone who came out midweek to share in an evening of fun and friendship. I hope you all had as much fun as I think you did. As always thanks to Hilton for hosting us. We need to try and do these a little more frequently in future. Hopefully we can think of a FUN weekend activity in the near future… All ideas welcome!

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For all your accommodation needs, Priscilla’s Studio is your ideal solution. The studio apartment comfortably sleeps up to 2 adults. The suite provides luxurious accommodation for up to 4 adults. It also has a lovely living area and a fully appointed kitchen.  

Slutwalk Reminder

Hi Everyone

This is a reminder that we will be doing our thing to protest rape culture, victim blaming, and slut shaming and thus promote consent and a positive attitude towards sex and sexuality next Saturday.

For those of you who do not know, Slutwalk was started in Toronto in 2011 in response to a police officer public stating that women needed to stop dressing like sluts if they wanted to avoid being raped. Since then the movement has spread throughout the world.

As a transgender woman, a parent of girls and a member of society I take this very seriously. I am also aware that transgender women are often hypersexualised by cisgender men and thus at a greater than average risk of sexual assault. Many men seem to think that women in general should be sexually available to them and some seem to think that transgender women are basically just in it for the sex and thus even more available to them: they seem to think that we are consenting to whatever they have in mind just because we are in a dress: heads up, ‘It’s a dress, not a yes!’ Transgender women run additional risks in that often sexual assaults (and even possibly consenting sexual encounters) seem to turn violent at an alarming rate. ‘Trans panic‘ is even considered a legitimate murder and assault defence in some parts of the world.

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I therefore think that all people, but especially women and transgender women have a vested interest in promoting a culture of consent where unless consent is explicitly and freely given no sex can happen. Often behaviours, beliefs and societal norms are so ingrained that people are unaware of the toxic and dangerous nature of these behaviours, beliefs and norms. We need to expose people to alternative ways of thinking about things and let them realise the danger we run by allowing sexual assault to be normalised. Men have an important role to play here too. If they themselves are not the perpetrators of an assault, then they are certainly the father, the brother, the uncle, the friend or some other male relation to the perpetrator. When they fob things off as ‘locker room talk’, or manly banter they are complicit. Men also sometimes find themselves in societal situations where abuse is normalised. We need to educate and empower men to speak out.

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I therefore believe Slutwalk is something we all, but perhaps especially the transgender community (in its broadest sense) should support.

After the (short) walk we are planning on going to Lucio’s Pizzeria in Blackheath for a spot of lunch. We would love it of as many of you as possible would join us. It is an opportunity to do a good thing, have a day out and about in a safe and accepting environment and then have lunch with some likeminded folks to meet new people, socialise and maybe get some support.

You can dress as you wish (just take a look at the weather forecast, it can be quite hot at this time of year, dress appropriately). It is a very safe environment in which some cisgender women feel safe enough to be topless and there are always a few transgender people around as well as cisgender men showing solidarity with woman by appearing in drag (which can be problematic, but I think we can give them a pass, because they are doing it for the right reasons, not to poke fun at anyone). So, dress as you wish, come and participate and have fun. Just make sure you have footwear that you can walk a kilometre or two in, stilettos may be a bit of a push…

The details:

Slutwalk:
Pirates Club
25 Braeside Road
Greenside
Johannesburg
From 10 am to 1 pm

Lucio’s Pizzeria
231 Beyers Naude Drive
Blackheath
Johannesburg
From after we finish the walk until around 4 pm

Please note that we need some indication of numbers so, that Lucio’s can be sure that they can accommodate us, so please RSVP by no later than 4 pm on Thursday 27 September.

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